How can you tell if a boy likes you?

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Nathalie Lussier

Nathalie Lussier is celebrating Christmas while empowering women. She is a writer and web entrepreneur.

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You might have caught a boy glancing in your direction and turning his head as soon as you catch him. You might be involved in a small teasing fight between you a boy in your class. Does he push you playfully, or maybe throw paper airplanes in your direction? Do you feel loathing for him, since he is always in your way or trying to distract you? You might have found a guy who likes you!

Now, what's the next step?

Well first you need to figure out if you like this boy or not. Depending on your answer to this, you will have to give him a message that you like him too, or deter him from trying to make any more advances. The first option is usually the easiest, since you will not hurt him by telling him that the affection is mutual. But if it is not in your heart, then lying to him will only hurt him more in the end. The way to tell him you do not want to date him without hurting his feelings, is to make it about both of your needs.

He might think that you're being full of yourself, but that might only be because he doesn't realize that he likes you and that he's been sending you messages of flirting. But once he does realize that you know he likes you, he may either go after you with a renewed fervor, or he might just find it weird to like a girl - and stop altogether.

Now if he does try to pursue you with a renewed interest, you need to make it clear to him that you are not interested. You can do this easily if he asks you out, say to a dance, and you firmly reply no. Don't be soft on him and say you will think about it. Just tell him you are not interested, but that you think your friendship would be nice.

What if he is too shy to ask you out in public? If the two of you send e-mails to each other, or chat on an instant messenging system or phone each other, your job might have gotten easier. He might choose to ask you out over such a medium, making it easier for you to tell him you are not interested in starting a relationship with him. You can simply reply, in a nice but firm tone that you do not want to start anything romantic with him. Make sure there is no way that you would want to start a relationship in the future. He might think that he has a chance in a few months, so you make it clear that this is it.

There you go! You've successfully told a boy you are not interested and a nice friendship should begin to materialize. It might happen that the boy is so embarrassed that he doesn't talk to you for awhile. But don't worry, if you were friends before he asked you out, things will return back to normal soon enough. Just remember to be nice, but firm with your intentions. That is the rule for all matters of the heart.